4th of July with the Corbinator

I started out the day going on an "easy" run with some friends.  My Runner's World SmartCoach plan called for 2 miles at 10:45.  My friends are faster than me.  They will run a 9:00 minute pace and just chat away the whole time.  When I am at a 9:00 minute pace, I am just lucky to breathe.  I had to ask them to slow down a bit so that I would be able to hang with them.  I ended up running 3.24 miles in 30:51 (9:31 pace).  So much for a slow / easy run.

Andrew, my son-in-law, was coming over to chain saw for a while.  In my ever constant vigil to get the property looking better (part of Fran's therapy), I am clearing around trees, fence lines, and wood piles that have been over grown.  Note to self:  When you see that cute little oak or pine tree growing, pull it out or 5 years from now it will be a very big tree that you have to have chain sawed or pulled out with a tractor. Jennifer had to work, so I watched the boys while Andrew chain sawed.

Of course, it was very hot.  Andrew cut quite a few of the trees down, then he started cutting away at the Pampas grass.  I vow that the Pampas grass will be gone before the fall!!!  The sound of the chain saw was another emotional melt down for me.  I remember times when Steve would be out cutting up fire wood or a downed tree.  Then it was my job to stack the wood after he cut it. Good memories.

Steve cutting a downed tree August 2004.  This was the month before
Hurricane Rita came through and we ended up with 5 more downed trees

Corbin and I headed to the pool about noon.  I wished that I had taken a picture of him swimming - it would have made for a better blog.  Next time.  I swam laps with some friends while Corbin played in the shallow end.  When I finished swimming laps, Corbin and I played throwing a ball. Good way to cool off in the heat.

A bit warm outside

Freedom Fest was scheduled for Fort Polk from 4:00pm - Fireworks.  I hadn't seen fireworks in so many years, so wanted to go this year.  The 4th of July wasn't a major holiday for me personally, so I almost always volunteered to take call when I worked in surgery.  I couldn't go an watch the fireworks because I wouldn't have been able to get out and get to the hospital in 30 minutes.  Since I am not in surgery anymore, I have a bit more freedom.

We went to Freedom Fest about 6pm, parked in the designated parking lot, and took the shuttle bus to the field where everything was set up.  Gretchen Wilson was already playing and there were thousands of people enjoying the show.

The 4 lanes of Hwy 467 were blocked off for vendors and the smell of grease made me hungry, but Corbin had his eyes on the kid section with jump houses, slides, and games to play.  So we headed over to the carnival section. All the games were sponsored by military units and support groups for fund raising.  So it was a good cause.

First thing Corbin saw was a basketball game.  He made the goal at least twice and was very proud of his 39cent water pistol that he won.

Corbin waiting his turn to throw the basketball.

Corbin making his free throw

The next event was the dunking booth.  One of the commanders was sitting in the booth and was visibly wet from being dunked so many times.  There were several small children in front of Corbin.  Most couldn't hit the target or not hit it hard enough to cause the drop.  So they were allowed to just come hit the target so the man would drop.

Corbin at the Dunking Booth

Corbin got up there with his six balls.  I just figured that he would end up pushing the target with his hand.  On his second ball, he hit the target hard enough and in the right spot to sink the commander!!

Corbin spent quite a while jumping and sliding.  Then it was on to Pizza and Dippin Dots.

We listened to the 50 gun salute to the nation, then a concert by .38 special. Finally it was dark enough for the fireworks to begin.  Very good fireworks.  Back to the car and home by 10:30.  Long, but very good day.

Watermellon Festival 5K

I love running the local races.  Today, I ran a 5K race which is part of the Beauregard Watermelon Festival (Louisiana has a festival celebrating something every weekend of the year).  Last month, in another local 5K, I ran 27:03 - my goal for this race was 26:00.

I probably haven't trained enough for such a lofty goal.  But, I was going to try anyway. I have been doing speed work with Lindsay, my trainer, and doing my SmartCoach workouts.  The ultimate goal (for now) is to run the  Bloomington Women's Half Marathon under 2:00. 

The race started at 7:30am.  But in Louisiana, it can still be rather warm and humid.  It was probably 80 degrees and 80% humidity by the time the race started.  The is a loop course with several inclines and hills.  The heat and hills took its toll on me.  I also may have started out the first half mile way too fast.  My Garmin didn't quite catch up to me for about a half mile.  At first it said I was running at a 16:00 pace then all of a sudden it said 7:30.  For the rest of the race it acted normally.  But what do you expect from a Garmin Forunner 201 - I know that it is at least 8 years old.

Time according to Garmin: 0:27:46

Garmin Distance:  3.17

Garmin Pace:  8:45

Mile 1: 8:22

Mile 2: 8:49

Mile 3: 9:11

      .1:  1:24

My friend, Julie ran with me.  She is a faster runner than I am, but has only been running about once a week, so she thought that she would have trouble keeping up with me.  WRONG... I probably slowed her down.  I was struggling the last 2 miles and her little motivation syaings kept me going.  She kept me focused by saying, "make it to the fire truck", "run to the next corner", and "run to the top of the hill."  It was a tough race for me.  I know that I would have finished a lot slower if she hadn't been there.  Thanks Julie.

I did win the women's 55-59 age group.  One benefit of staying active as I get older.  Awards were only 1 deep since it was a small race.  There is usually someone faster than me in the local races.  She must have overslept this morning.


Me and Julie before the race

So, now the plan is to keep training for the Half Marathon in August.  There are several 5Ks in the fall and winter.  I will just have to keep my goal and work harder.

Master Plan....baby steps

Steve and Fran's Farmhouse - as my children have named it on Facebook is small.  It is approximately 1400 square feet.  But in this house we  have lived for nearly 22 years and raised 3 children.  For nearly the entire time that we lived in the house, I have been talking about remodeling.  It has fondly been called Fran's Master Plan.

Steve and Fran's Farmhouse - desperately in need of being bigger

Every time Steve would want to fix something or upgrade something, I would say, "But very soon we are going to be remodeling. Do we want to spend the money then just tear it down?"  Well, I said that for nearly 20 years.  Steve would give me one of his looks that said "we aren't ever going to remodel, but I will humor you for a while."

Last year though, I made a break through.  I finally hired a designer who had drawn up remodeling plans.  I showed Steve some of the first drafts.  He gave me his input and revisions were made.  I found the last draft in my e-mail in-box 2 days after Steve was killed. 

Now the dilemma - a house that was way too small for Steve and me seems too big for me alone.  So, I'm not making any major renovation decisions for at least a year. But that will be a blog farther down the road.

In the mean time....My friend Rachel, had a house built several years ago.  She tiled the entire house by herself.  She has listened to my remodeling stories for years and came up with an idea.  She had lots of tile left over from her house - She either bought too much, or the tile wasn't the right type, or not the right color.  She wasn't able to take any of the tile back.  So she offered to come over and teach / help me tile the 2 bathrooms.

This wasn't a major project, but it was more than I have done in 20 years on the house.  I would like to think that Steve was proud of me that I finally did something.


(Pardon the crazy blog.  I probably need some technical help with cutting, pasting, and getting things in the right place.  Trying to get better.)

We have 2 bathroom.  Both are very small.  Bathroom number one is in the Master Bedroom and the other is called the Kid's Bathroom

Master Bath Before renovation began.

Carpet has been in the house for over 22 years.

Kid's Bathroom.  The carpet was reomoved

about 12 years ago.  It had just a plain cement

floor (I actually painted it last summer when

Steve's sisters were coming to visit.

I had some prep work to do before we could begin the tile work.  I had to take out the carpet from the Master Bathroom.  When I pulled up the carpet, I discovered old linoleum that had to removed also.

The linoleum had a very strong PineSol  smell to it

Scraping off Very old linoleum 

So, I took off work on Monday  - a dedicating Tile day. Rachel showed me how to do everything, then we both got to work.  She was a bit faster than me, but I got better as better as we went along.

Rachel (Tile Guru) came dressed for the Tile Party

Fran mixing the cement

Fran spreading the cement and placing tiles

==

All the tiles are in place ...Cement needs to dry

Laying the grout

This can get messy...but fun...just like playing in the mud

Master Bath - Finished

Kid's Bathroom Finished

Last year was better

Last year at this time, I was getting to the gym nearly every monring by 0500 (that is 5am for civilians).  Last year, I was spinning, running, doing brick workouts, or some kind of strength training on a regular basis.  Last year, I had 2 marathons, 6 half marathons, and 4 triathlons scheduled.  Last year, I jumped out of bed at 0405 when the alarm went off without a problem (no matter what time I went to bed).

Last year my husband, Steve was alive.

This year sucks.  I can't get into any kind of routine.  I'm not tired at night so stay up late, then the next morning, I am exhausted and don't want to get out of bed.  I am running and training, but not with the same enthusiasm.  I have some races and triathlons scheduled - but I don't have Steve here to share my progress and accomplishments.

I just found a blog Widows Speak Up!.  It was comforting to find so many women who feel the same way that I do.  The emotions that I have built up are just such a roller coster of being mad, sad, angry, depressed, overwhelmed, lonely, and having such an empty feeling inside.

I know this is all normal feelings.  I never knew that loosing a spouse could hurt so bad.  Before this happened to me, I had no idea what an empty feeling I would have without Steve.  I don't think that I can come close to describing it. 

At times, I am so overwhelmed with everything that has to be done.  I wasn't a great housekeeper before Steve died and now I seem to be even more of a pack-rat.  I don't want to let go of a single memory.  I have 11 acres of land that must be taken care of - thankfully, only about 5 need to be cut and bush-hogged.  So, I now know how to drive a tractor.  Everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, and shopping are so hard.

But, there are so many reasons for me to try to overcome this depression that I am in.  I have 3 wonderful children and grandchildren who need to be spoiled.  I have some very good friends who are helping me.  I have my health. I am running and trying to set goals for myself.

My family at the suprise birthday party that Jennifer had for me

I think that Steve would want me to be happy.  I just have to find a way to do it.

Preview - 6 Nights with the Boys

6 Nights with the Boys.  I am watching Cole and Corbin while Jennifer and Andrew go on a much needed vacation to a Sandals resort in Jamaica. I am picking them up tonight after work.   Jennifer and Andrew leave early in the morning for the airport.

I am looking forward to the time with the boys.  Of course this will mean - all the Lego's will be spread out - and since Cole is mobile - will be a challenge keeping him away from the Lego's.

There are a few activities planned - but mainly just hangin' out.  I hope to post a few blogs. We'll see.