May 2, 2012

New Blog.........200 Days

My daughter, Jennifer upgraded my blog for my Mother’s Day present.  She and her blog designer did a fantastic job.  I haven’t had the desire to blog very much.  I told Jennifer that all I wanted to say was sad things.  She said that it is my blog and I can say what I want.  So if you are looking for something upbeat, you might want to stop reading now.

It has been 200 days since Steve was killed.  It is so hard being without him.  One of the hardest things for me to do is just drive home.  Steve usually got home every night from work before me.  By the time I was pulling in to the driveway, he had gotten home, changed clothes, and was out in the shop working.  So, I would drive up and see the shop door open.  Now, when I drive up, the door is closed.  It is just one more vision that I can’t look at without crying.
Steve always had some project out in the shop.  He was building a guitar, making pens, or tearing apart one of the motorcycles.  I can’t even count the number of winters that he had The Beast (his 1985 HD Wide Glide) apart and in pieces.  I would go out and talk to him.  He would ask how long until dinner – I would say, “About an hour” and he would work until dinner was ready.
I miss the way Steve always made me feel safe.  It was like no matter what happened to me, he would be there to protect me.  He was a safe driver.  He practiced safety whenever he was around his shop equipment and he did not tolerate people who were not safe.  He was always there for me whenever I needed him.  If I came home and complained about someone, he offered to slash someone’s tires.  I told him that it wasn’t worth me bailing him out of jail. But I have such good memories of 30 years being with a wonderful man.  We have 3 great children that Steve loved and was so very proud of all of them.  He gave them a hard time when they might have made some bone-head decision, but he really loved them.He was such a good father to the kids when they were young.   When the Army transferred me to Fort Sam Houston, TX for a year, he became a great mother & father.  But during that year, all the kids learned how to do their own laundry.  There were many things that I had done for the kids that Steve made them do for themselves.

Steve, the kids
and his beloved Blue Van

The Gibson Family, December 1990
right before Steve deployed to Dessert Storm
Well, enough sad things.  There is too much to do around Steve & Fran’s Farmhouse to sit around and mope.  There are several runs coming up over the next few months.  Maybe there will be a special event in November and I have grandkids to spoil. 
I miss you Steve.  I’m taking it one day at a time – and like someone told me today, sometimes it’s one hour at a time.

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